My (Not So) Bloody Valentine

Lover's Tryst

*Around midnight, guy in a [insert random fast food joint name here] uniform is making the evening deposit at a deserted ATM, or so he thinks.*

“Don’t turn around and don’t say anything. Now drop the money, that’s it nice and easy. Be a good boy and you won’t get hurt.”

“You probably shouldn’t have said that.”

“Shut up! You make another noise and I’ll kill your sorry ass.”

“Is that even a real gun? We don’t own a gun, and ease up a little would’ya. You’re going to leave a bruise.”

“I said…wait, what the hell are you talking about. You don’t know me.”

“’Be a good boy and you won’t get hurt’ hah, like you’ve never said that in bed. You sound just as sexy holding me up as you do naked. Maybe we should try this later tonight.”

“Shit, I didn’t even realize. God this is nerve-wracking. And now I went and said the Lord’s name in vain, crap. ”

“This is what you worry about while you’re holding someone up? Man you’re adorable, and what does it matter if I recognized you? You were going to tell me anyway, right?”

“Well, I hadn’t planned on it, plausible deniability and all that.”

“Well yeah but after, don’t you think I would have wondered where you got all the money suddenly?”

“I mean I’m not going to spend it all at once, you know what this doesn’t even matter, I’ll just see you at home and please, please don’t tell babe. I can’t believe you recognized me, this really sucks.”

“Well….you know I’ve never been a really good liar…”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!”

“It means that I’m probably going to be in a ton of trouble for losing the money, and they’re going to be all concerned and I have to talk to the police and stuff all night, and they’re probably going to send me to therapy and I have to say stuff about how I’m afraid to walk alone at night now or whatever. This is a huge inconvenience for me. It’s definitely going to cost you.”

“Oh very cute, ok, what is it going to cost me? You really want me to try this on you again a little later? Maybe even tie you up?”

“Hmm. That sounds fun. Maybe, but I want a new PS 3.”

“I mean, how much money is in there? Can’t be buying things all willy-nilly, that money’s got to help pay the rent too you know.”

“You’re such a dork, who even says willy-nilly? And I dunno, probably $1900, maybe more.”

“Oh ok well then…Jesus Christ! I can’t believe the dumb bitch is honking the freaking horn, like hello we’re committing a felony, yeah it’s taking awhile but you don’t honk the GD horn. I gotta run before she starts flashing the lights and yelling ‘Here we are cops!’”

“I’m definitely getting the Playstation right?”

“Yeah. Yeah. You’re getting the Playstation. Love you!”

“Love you too babe.”